~Fred's Diary~

A brief glimpse into the hidden hopes and dreams of Fred Schneider the iguana

Dear Diary,

I got to go outside today. They put me on that damn leash, of course, but still. It was crazy. I was all, "Whoa, this is grass or something. Wow." It was pretty neat. Earlier today, I let the spikey-haired guy pet me, then I ate the food he gave me out of his hand. He tried to pet me again, and I whipped him with my tail! It was soooooo funny! :-D You should have seen the look on his face! I really pissed him off good. Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed now. See ya later!

Dear Diary,

I think my favorite band is KISS. They are sooooo good :-) Anyway, today has been pretty boring. I haven't even been pissed off all that much. Well, talk to you later. 

4/9/03

Dear Diary,

Today, I was angry. It kept me pretty busy. After being angry that my lights were turned on this morning, I got pissed off at the fact that they put that frickin' calcium supplement crap all over my collard greens. I mean, what the hell is up with that? Then, I decided to look for a way out of the cage, but it only got me trapped in a corner at the top of the cage with no way down. Those jackasses who are always feeding me had to get me down. Oh well, I'll try again tomorrow.